I'm Still Alive!

Wow. More than TWO years since the last time I posted. Since this blog's beginnings back in 2010, there has never been this long a period of inactivity from me. I won't make excuses or jokes this time since it seems I only repeat myself every year! That said, I will give an update of my life and path for the past two years for anyone (still?) reading.

In the last real post, two years ago, I listed the various reasons and happenings in my life between 2016 and 2017 that kept me busy. There have been plenty of major changes since then and most are directly related to the things I was taking about in that post.

Here's what's new with me. First, the bad things:

• I got a job at a warehouse towards the end of 2017 till the middle of 2018. While the company I worked for wasn't completely horrible, the conditions of the job itself were literally backbreaking. I was working overtime constantly, ended up in relentless pain that permanently injured by left thumb and worsened the state of both wrists, and the pay was, while the legal minimum, truly measly. All aspects of my life - mental health, social life, spirituality, art - took a huge hit. 

• Unable to endure the warehouse job, I managed to land a retail job in mid-2018. While seemingly better at first, especially in terms of time (less hours which meant marginally less money but way less physically crippling), it turned out to be even worse as the boss was an atrocious creature (I have trouble calling her a person) whose unpredictable, insulting, and demanding behavior left me in a constant state of extreme anxiety and exhaustion. For those unfamiliar, I suffer from chronic generalized anxiety and depression and I've fought for years to return to a more healthy state of mind and life. Those two day jobs, especially the retail one, took me many steps backwards in terms of mental health progress. 

• In the end, at the beginning of March 2019, I was fired after demanding to be paid the money my boss owed me. That, coupled with four months of stressful, and ultimately futile, efforts to get my money as well as solve a number of other major issues, nearly destroyed my religious and magical practice, reducing it to a mere shadow of a spirituality. I'm still dealing with the psychological (and financial!) aftermath of this past year and a half of bullshit, unfortunately.

•  The Hekatean group I was in that operated under the auspices of the Covenant of Hekate ended up disbanding due to inactivity and the departure of core members. I still maintain a good friendship with the couple that started it and we occasionally do rituals or magic together but we're no longer a formal group of any kind.

•  During 2018, I was also undergoing training for eventual initiation in the Aurum Solis. Unable to cope with yet another source of pressure and being truly drained of time and energy, I ended up stopping the training. While mulling that over, I realized I was seeking initiation for the wrong reasons and the personal revelations that realization ignited changed my thinking and approach on many things in my life, especially in spiritual matters.
   
• The Stardust Compass apparently went inactive some time during my disconnect from my practices. As such, I have completely let go of that particular system.

Now, onto the more positive stuff:

• My boyfriend and I moved together in mid-2018 and have been living together since then. It has been amazing but also very challenging, especially since it's the first time for both of us. Building and maintaining your own, truly independent household is both incredibly rewarding and stupidly difficult!

•  I continue to have a magical relationship with my best friend, although mundane life has caused it to wax and wane in activity.
  
• My relationship with the Witchfather has grown exponentially since the last time I posted here. The development of the Triskelion Path as a whole has also reached new levels and Hekate has elevated me to new strata of understanding I was not expecting. There will be much to do and share regarding the Triskelion in the near future.
  
• Finally, my art and writing have grown a lot, both in terms of quality as well as in terms of productivity. My goal is for 2020 to be a year of publications and full-fledged work in those matters.

So, that's the cliffnotes version of the past two years of my life! I will jinx this again and say I'm hoping to post more in the coming months. I've been inspired recently so I'm revitalizing my online presence in regards to religious/magical matters, such as making a Pagan/occult-focused Instagram account. I found that doing so helped keep me productive and accountable with my artistic goals so I'm hoping it will do the same for my religious and magical stuff. Here's to more content!

P.S. I've also changed my online name to Chelydoreus. It's my public "magical name" and, in an effort to shift my mindset to a more professional approach, I've decided to also make it my screen name.